Journal of European Baptist Studies, 2017

project one’s self through the currently acceptable commodity. We are disposed to practise what is unfamiliar when we can emulate others who obviously derive satisfaction from the practice; at Scum, we contend that if you are ‘one step ahead’ of a friend, you can be a helpful peer mentor. More experienced practitioners also help create the environment that offers opportunities for the practice and can help navigate obstacles that occur. Mentors need not lead perfectly exemplary lives, but demonstrate to the emerging adult a capacity for contented self-acceptance in the midst of their own growth. In a frenetic consumer culture with seemingly limitless options, mentors can help by affirming choices as reasonable and adequate rather than holding out for ‘the perfect solution’. Mentors can point out the unnoticed work of the Holy Spirit as they review a congregant’s success in past situations and applaud the decision-making process being used in the current dilemma. Mentors can offer understanding, drawing on beliefs, desires, and feelings that are already present. In an hours-long meeting one day, Jacob talked about retaliating in fistfights with his abusive father, regret over early relationships with women, an aborted baby, and other misadventures in his life. There was seemingly nothing to admire in his behaviour in these situations. But I could honestly commend his recognition of these events as regrettable, commend his desire to find healing from them, and commit to continued mentoring on how to change habits of the mind that had grown as a result of poor decisions in his teen years. At this point he did not call his behaviour sin, but was receptive to hearing about the Holy Spirit as the apparent conscience that had led him to bring up these topics and put them on the table for what we would later discuss in terms of sin, redemption, and transformation. Jacob’s initial combination of unwillingness and inability to see his own sin in his actions and responses supports Christian Smith and Patricia Snell’s contention that most emerging adults ‘explicitly denied feeling any regrets about any of their past decisions, behaviors or problems’. They 46 Journal of European Baptist Studies 17:1 (2017) believe this inability to admit regret gives a sense of release from the responsibility to think through actions and consequences (theirs or others’), keeps life upbeat and moving forward, stifles negative emotions, and protects a fragile self-identity and self-worth. 18 Gratitude Gratitude is a practical counter to the consumer desire, which is ‘not really about attachment to things, but about the joys of desiring itself. It is the joy of endless seeking and pursuit.’ 19 Gratitude itself is a gift of God, not dependent on one’s achievements, and is needed before one can willingly accept gifts from another. The practice of gratitude allows appreciation of ordinary, uneventful days, without the expectat