JOURNEYS Mennonite Stories of Faith and Survival in Stalins Russia, John B. Toews, 1998

he night with the calves and when they were in the pas¬ ture during the day I went and rested in the wagon. I had a pillow and a blanket and simply lay down in some corner, but it was summer and so hot that one could not sleep during the day. The sun heated the tin roof and the cattle flies pestered me. Some¬ times I walked home in the morning and helped with the hoeing. Neta had to look after the chicks on the collective, which were free to run about. The hawks had a special liking for these delica¬ cies hence the need for constant vigilance. Marta could not be very active so I helped wherever I could. In the evening I had to go back to my work, but I was glad and thankful that Neta could remain with the children. Neta had heard nothing from my brother Heinrich since May, 1941. The teacher for whom Marta worked wrote to Moscow inquiring about Heinrich’s whereabouts .... We finally received word that Heinrich died in August 1943. That was all we learned. Our only hope was to meet him in eternity. We experienced deep suffering but God did not let us despair .... 88 JOURNEYS We Germans were so isolated that we did not know what was happening in the outside world. We had no idea where our next of kin were. Since we had so little to eat, our thought focused on food and survival and nothing else seemed to matter. The usual topic of conversation was, “Do you still have something to eat?” Now that there was a bit more food we could fill up on potatoes and pump¬ kins, and so we began to think about things which our weakened bodies and exhausted minds had not focused on for a long time. We remembered that somewhere in this wide world we still had parents and kinfolk. But where were they? Thoughts of our families filled our minds and we Germans began to make inquiries of one another. If anyone had an address we began to write. In amazing ways people began to find each other. In a miraculous and round about way I once more located my sister Sara. Then on June 15, 1946, I received the first letter from Lena. I cannot describe my feelings when I read it. My hands trembled, my eyes filled with tears, my legs could hardly carry me. What news did the letter contain? Once I had calmed down I began to read .... Our parents were in their heavenly home .... My sister Sara was still alive. But where was Mariechen and Peter s and Jakobs family? Lets get back to the chicken farm. Fall came and we again prepared for the long winter. We had planted potatoes. The Lord blessed our efforts and we harvested wonderful potatoes. Even though we had no bread we could satisfy our hunger with potatoes and make our soup a bit thicker. As the fall evenings lengthened the young people again gathered at our house. Some had acquired guitars and mandolins and now accompanied our singing. This greatly enhanced our time together. The young people were so en¬ thusiastic. For us it was both a joy and provided a welcome change from t