Perilous Journey: The Mennonite Brethren in Russia 1860-1910, John B. Toews, 1988

affair and as such an often agonizing, lengthy journey. Men and women in mid-life or even advanced age believed and were baptized. Surviving conversion accounts of the 1880s and 1890s provide the only clues to the inner pattern of the spiritual pilgrimages of the 1850s and 1860s. The memoranda of these second or even third generation Brethren heirs may well have been subject to some standardization. After all, the search for a descriptive vocabulary capable of defining and describing the various categories of the subjective experience had been under- way for several decades. Furthermore the concept of conversion became an important reference point in determining eligibility for church membership. Members of the congregation had to be satisfied that the pattern of personal salvation was akin to their own. In such a setting ideas associated with conversion may, in contrast to the earlier decades, have become subject to greater conformity. As it developed, this language of the inner experience not only provided a point of contact with the mindset of the founding fathers but became an influential factor in determining the style of Brethren piety. What were some of the elements in the Brethren profile of conversion during the last two decades of the nineteenth century? All the accounts reflect a sense of deep personal sinfulness which usually derived from specific transgressions. Smoking and drinking, common practices in the Russian Mennonite world of that day, were frequently cited as key transgressions. 2 Some mentioned the sins committed while in "worldly company" 3 while others confessed to "worldly pursuits at weddings." 4 Drinking, smoking, card playing and obscene talk were the cardinal evils associated with such occasions. These shortcomings were longstanding. David Epp listed them in the 1840s as did his son Jacob in the 1860s. Some Brethren converts identified very specific issues. One recalled how he smoked and read Hofacker's sermons, 5 while another acknowledged his obsession with reading romances. 6 When describing their crisis experience the Brethren often used words like Suendennot (a profound sense of sinfulness) or Seelenangst (mental anguish). 7 There was a feeling of inadequacy and shortcoming, despondency and hopelessness. The search for 48 peace was usually a protracted one lasting days, weeks and even months. Recounting his own conversion in the summer of 1896 the later emigration leader B.B. Janz spoke of his "struggle for forgiveness" which involved repeated prayers of "confession and self-surrender" yet there was "no response from above." 8 Similarly the preacher and teacher A.H. Unruh engaged in a lengthy search for salvation 9 as did the itinerant minister and later elder Herman Neufeld. 10 In this struggle for true faith there was a striving for a genuine "breakthrough" 11 and a preoccu- pation with becoming joyful (froh werden) and being joyful (froh sein). 12 Wh