THE MENNONITE BROTHERHOOD IN RUSSIA (1789 - 1910), P. M. Friesen, 1911

spected in the world I am now scorned. That is a dear sign that my Savior loves me, is it not? Yes, my dear brother, I love my Savior with all my heart, with all my soul and with all my strength, for this love is the love of my Savior in Whom I believe. For a long time I strove against the Spirit of God. Again and again I bargained with Him. Sometime in the future I would begin to be a disciple of Jesus. But first I wanted to do this and the other thing. And now, finally, I wanted simply to finish my school year, after which I would say good-bye to the world. But no, the Lord did not want it that way. He gave me no peace. Often I had to think about dying and then I was much afraid. Then I wished only to thresh my grain. That would afford me a good sum of money and it would be very well if I as a child of God would be able to earn even a small sum of money. (Fool that I was; I did not know that one is redeemed by grace.) But then, my brother, I became restless. Stop! a thought flashed through my mind; What if God were to harden your heart and to supply no further opportunity for repentance? Then you would be eternally lost. So I went and forsook all the glitter and all the beautiful prospects and hurried to my Savior. Now I am happy. The world about me scarcely noticed— at first only the so-called Liebenau Christian village church— when I was asked by the village mayor whether I, too, wanted to join the pious and the ‘Huepfer’ (as though it was only a matter of joining them). They did not ask me: Why are you so happy? But when I began to testify in public to the name of Jesus and referred to the pious as my brethren in Christ, and when I preached repentance and conversion to the others, Satan endeavored to rob me of the joy which was the fruit of my faith. First, the village mayor, Peters, told me that the neighbors did not want to send their children to my school. He hoped that this might persuade me to avoid the brethren who became dearer and dearer to me. But to the contrary, the more they (the world) discouraged me by their talk, the more Jesus encouraged me. And now I am happy! Next, the school society [the board of directors] came to Liebenau. I was asked to report to the village mayor where I was questioned: Do you wish to remain in Liebenau as a school teacher? Then you must avoid the brethren. I said that I would very much like to remain as teacher and should put forth every effort to fulfill my obligations as a teacher, but I did not want to act contrary to my conscience and avoid the brethren. Then the village council and the society wanted to explain to me how much in error we were. You can imagine how much their arguments contradicted the Word of God. The chairman, Schmidt, wanted to persuade me and to permit me, against his own conscience, to visit the brethren ‘a little,’ but not to join them. A stupid expression. An hour 376 THE MENNONITE BRETHREN CHURCH after this discussion I was