JOURNEYS Mennonite Stories of Faith and Survival in Stalins Russia, John B. Toews, 1998

When I awoke the next morning my de¬ pression returned. I asked myself, “Why ? Why should this be so ?” With trembling hands and body, I took up my Bible and prayed, “Lord, whatever verse I find when I open the Bible, let that be your promise to me, because I can’t go on.” 1 opened my Bible and found these words in Lamentations: “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning.” (Lam. 3:22, 23a) Oh, how I thanked the Lord .... I had to make a trip to a neighboring village and while I was there, my adopted children’s aunt saw me and called out, “Anna, I’m so glad to see you. Go find Lena, she’s got something for you.” (Lena was our oldest daughter) When I arrived, Lena said, “Mother, it’s so good you came ! Aunt Marie left forty rubles for you.” I had not told anyone about our situation, but God had heard my prayers. I took the money, went to the market and bought enough things to last a few days. As I was returning home walk¬ ing through our village, my Aunt Agatha called out to me, “Anna, how are things?” I stood on the street and started to cry. “Come here what is the problem?” she said. “Oh, Aunt Agatha, Alfred is so hungry,” I replied. “Can’t you give him anything to eat?” Wearily I answered, “No.” “Why not feed him roasted Zwiebacks queried my aunt. “Oh, Aunty, I have no flour, no milk, nothing.” “Wait a minute.” She went inside and came back with roasted Zwieback and sugar. “Now go home,” she said, “and feed your child.” My parents also sent me fifty rubles which I used for buying food and paying bills. When Peter came home on Sunday and heard about the way the Lord had blessed us, he said, “Give me a sack to take with me. I can get products at cheaper government prices where I work.” The following week he returned with his REMINISCENCES 31 arms loaded down with supplies. Not long after the cow calved, and our immediate crisis was at an end .... Let me digress for a moment. We returned to Bergthal in 1940. I had an adopted sister there named Toni who had cancer. After three operations she was discharged from the hospital. There was no hope for a cure. Toni had twin girls aged thirteen who were to look after her when she returned home. It was a difficult task. She was usually unconscious and her right arm and leg con¬ vulsed uncontrollably. She needed constant attention, which the girls could not provide alone. I often looked after her and spent the night there .... While she was still in the hospital I promised to look after her children .... I cared for her in her little house in the village, but it was a difficult task. During the day I worked in the sugar beets. I checked on her before I left in the morning. After work I usually went there and spent the night. It was too difficult and I became seriously ill with tremendous body pains. By evening Toni’s girls were at my house pleading for me to come. The