JOURNEYS Mennonite Stories of Faith and Survival in Stalins Russia, John B. Toews, 1998

all the other young girls asked, “Why did I have to give up my dear Marta?” I too had suffered a heavy loss for we had experienced so much together. How often we prayed together. In spite of her tender years she was so understanding. I could discuss everything with her, especially when Neta was away. She was such a reliable support. How I missed her. She was like an angel at my side. At times when I was so sad and burdened she quietly came from behind and placed her thin arms around me. Then we cried to¬ gether. After she died, it often seemed to me that I heard her soft step behind me. I actually turned around to look if she was there. Yet I granted her the rest, for she had not experienced much hap¬ piness in her seventeen years. One day when it was very warm her friends were sitting on the hay field, which was near the cemetery. During the lunch break they went to the cemetery together and sat on Martas grave and talked about the fact that Marta’s lot was the better one: they too wished to be over there. Life resumed its normal pattern. Marta had left a good legacy and that was comforting. During the summer Neta worked in the collective and I was again looking after the chickens. Heini had finished his seventh school year and wished to pursue a trade. In Ala there was a school for carpenters and craftsmen. He applied and when he filled out his papers he discovered that if he wanted to study he would have to join the communist youth gorup. Among other things this meant he could not attend religious services. He refused to do this and was not accepted. The collective subsequently sent him and several Russian lads from our village to a wintertime course for tractor drivers. There his faith was immediately tested. They wanted him to go to the movies with them but he refused. “I am a Christian and believe in God and will not go there,” he said. They ridiculed him for being a Baptist but he remained resolute. Finally they left him alone. He sustained this bearing in later life and immediately — regardless of where he was — identified himself as a Christian. And so Heini became a tractor driver. He wanted to help earn money and so in time things became easier for us. We were granted a garden plot and planted and harvested lovely potatoes. As a tractor driver Heini was also paid in grain and so by 1950 we could bake bread. Now our teeth had something to chew on. In all the bygone years we really did not need our teeth to eat soup! Heini was also paid in cash as were Neta and I. We 92 JOURNEYS began to view the future with some hope. Even our minds began to work normally again. By 1951 we were able to sell some of our [surplus] potatoes for a high price. We wanted to buy a cow and our teacher friend came to our aid. There was an old cow for sale in the village. We had saved some money and the lady teacher offered to lend us the rest. We took the risk and bought the cow. We could hardly believ