JOURNEYS Mennonite Stories of Faith and Survival in Stalins Russia, John B. Toews, 1998

e the fact that we had our own cow! She was not a great producer but it was rich milk. Each morning we went to separate the milk. We drank the skim milk and made butter from the cream. With the money from the sale of the but¬ ter we paid off our debts. In summer the cow was put out to pasture. Whenever Heini had time he cut hay with the scythe. Neta had a sickle and cut grass wherever she could. We now had hay for the winter. How often we wished that Marta was alive to enjoy the milk. In time we paid off our debt and were now in a position to enjoy whole milk! Now we had a new idea. If we continued to save we might be able to buy a small house! The idea was so intriguing that we re¬ solved to keep on saving .... Finally in 1953 we had saved enough to buy a small house at the end of the village. It consisted of a small room in which three of us could sleep, a small kitchen where we ate, and a small space which was really only the entry into the cellar. But it was our home, small but ours. We were so proud and always spoke of our house! In May we moved from the chicken barn where we had lived in such poverty and yet experienced such joy. The room in which Marta died was so sacred for we had prayed and sang in it so often. We loaded our few belongings onto an ox cart. I looked back once more and was drawn to enter the room behind the oven where I had often prayed. I knelt down once more and thanked God for everything, for all the joy and sorrows. How often I looked at that chicken barn with wistfulness and thankfulness. I stopped work after our move. I was already 57 years old and at 55 a woman was entitled to pension. It was a major struggle because they did not wish to release me. The supervisor threat¬ ened me and when that did not help begged me to stay at the chicken farm for another year. I said “no.” I was tired and my nerves were weak .... Because I had so few work years, my income was not even eight rubles per month. Since Heinrich and Neta were still employed we were able to take in our cousin Sara Martens, who had no home and was old and sick. Heini agreed to the arrangement and felt that four could live together as well as three. MEMOIRS OFJUSTINA MARTENS 93 She came to live with us and was so thankful for our hospitality. She helped whenever she could and God blessed us together. We continued to save and the Lord enabled us to buy a larger house. Our house was simply too small for four persons. We also wanted to aquire a bit of furniture. The teacher where Marta stayed wanted to sell her house. We borrowed some extra money and bought it from her. It even had a barn. Our situation gradu¬ ally improved and with time Heini bought a motorcycle. We planted many sunflowers and sold the seeds at the Martuk mar¬ ket. In 1956 we were freed from the special command adminis¬ tration and could move wherever we wanted. We nevertheless had to promise with our signature that we would not return t