Perilous Journey: The Mennonite Brethren in Russia 1860-1910, John B. Toews, 1988

all my sins, all my debts for the sake of the blood of Jesus Christ. 7 Perhaps Jacob Epp's agony was simply a personal crisis of faith, a midJife re-evaluation, or the "dark night of the soul" of which medieval mystics spoke. Or was it the widespread prevalence of disease and death in the settlement which always made life a serious affair? Then too there was the burden of public office. Here was Epp, the aging frustrated pastor, seeking to revitalize himself and his community. His personal quest for faith permeates his entire diary. What was it? How was it attained? Periods of doubt and penitential agony led to affirmations of faith, yet the process remained cyclical and lacking in firm assurance. 26 In the summer of 1837 David Epp complained that the light of the Gospel was "obscured in so many folk." 8 He wondered when the "dawn of true enlightenment" might begin to break. Were there other concerned voices and other prayers during the 1830s and 1840s? Church leaders with the exception of Kleine Gemeinde leaders, left no record of their longings and spiritual dreams. The prayers of David's son Jacob were equally fervent. "O gracious Lord and Savior. What will finally happen to us. Do not let us sink entirely into darkness and hopelessness." 9 A month later, distressed by the widespread sale of brandy he again pleaded: "If only help came from Zion and God redeemed his captive people." 10 Five years later Jacob still prayed for the salvation of his people. "Trusted Shepherd, save your flock which has strayed so far from you. Oh Lord have mercy." 11 Some felt such prayers for renewal had been answered a few years earlier. In 1853 a young man in Neu-Kronsweide, Chortitza found peace with God after reading the sermons of the Wuerttemberg pietist Ludwig Hofacker. What was the nature of his inner experience? How did he inform others of his new found joy? Spontaneity apparently characterized both the young man's conversion and the revival which followed. The Chortitza region to which Neu-Kronsweide belonged was under the jurisdiction of elder Jacob Hildebrand. Later in the nineteenth century his son Cornelius, possibly utilizing family papers or recalling the stories told by his father, recounted the revival. In his words "one clearly felt the rustling of the wind concerning which Christ said to Nicodemus "You know not whither it comes or where it goes.' " 12 The new movement "illumined the churches like the dawn of a new day." 13 The converts were serious pilgrims, and local villagers spoke of them as die Frommen (the pious ones) not in derision but in recognition of their godly walk. Those with believing, longing hearts saw and rejoiced over it and thanked God in anticipation of a great glorious day. Father especially rejoiced with the newly converted, who so openly declared the assurance of forgiveness of sin in the blood of Jesus and hoped that these people would become the salt of the churc