THE MENNONITE BROTHERHOOD IN RUSSIA (1789 - 1910), P. M. Friesen, 1911

of Christ. q) “These matters gnawed at my heart to such an extent that I could bear it no longer. I thought to myself: miserable man that I am, what am I doing! If I continue in this way and do not live in agreement with the word of the Lord, according to the knowledge of the truth which I have obtained; if I do not rebuke to the best of my limited ability the hyprocrisy, the impenitent, carnal life, the perverted baptism, Lord’s Supper and false worship of God, which the learned teach; if I, through bodily fear, do not show them the real foundation of the truth, neither use all my powers to direct the wandering flock, who would gladly do their duty if they only knew it, to the true pastures of Christ— oh, how shall their shed blood, though shed in error, rise up against me at the judgment seat of the Almighty and pronounce sentence against my poor, miserable soul! My heart trembled in my body. I prayed to God amidst sighs and tears that He would give to me, a troubled sinner, the gift of His grace and create a clean heart within me; that through the merits of the blood of Christ, He would graciously forgive my unclean walk and unprofitable life, and bestow wisdom, spirit, freedom and courage upon me so that I might preach His exalted and praiseworthy name and holy word unperverted and make manifest His truth to His glory. r) “Now I began, in the name of the Lord, openly to teach true repentance from the pulpit, 10 to direct the people onto the narrow path, and to reprove all sin and ungodliness, all idolatry and false worship; and, to the extent that I had then received grace from God, I openly presented baptism and the Lord’s Supper according to the spirit and doctrine of Christ. I also earnestly and faithfully warned everyone against the abominations of Muenster with regard to kings, polygamy, the kingdom of God and the use of the sword, etc., until the Lord, after a period of nine months, granted me His fatherly Spirit, His assistance and mighty hand, so that suddenly and voluntarily I was able to relinquish honor and reputation, which I had gained among the people, as well as give up my antichristian abominations, unrestrained and secure life. s) “In 1536, 11 impoverished and distressed, I voluntarily yielded to Merino Simons 7 the powerful cross of Christ my Lord, and in weakness feared God. I sought God-fearing people, and though they were few in number, I found some 12 who were zealous and maintained the truth. I debated with the erring ones and, through the Word of God, by God’s grace and power won some and led them to Christ, while the hardened and rebellious I commended to the Lord. t) “Behold, my reader, thus the Lord of mercy, through the benign influence of the abundant grace which He extended to me, a miserable sinner, touched my heart, produced in me a new min d, humbled me in His fear, granted me a measure of self-knowledge, turned me from the way of death and graciously c