JOURNEYS Mennonite Stories of Faith and Survival in Stalins Russia, John B. Toews, 1998

and piled it on the floor, put our bedding on top and, with our clothes on, laid down. But we could not sleep. My thoughts wandered into the lovely past. If only the living room could relate all its experiences! Our cradles stood here. Here 54 JOURNEYS we were school children .... The scenes of the past rolled by like a film. With heavy hearts we awaited what the morning and the new day would bring .... Our parents were to leave Kleefeld for Memrik where moth¬ er s three sisters lived, so we began to make preparation for the journey. We three sisters did not know where to go but God had made some temporary provisions. Before noon Mr. Isaac Wiens came and told us we could move into his “summer room” (Sommerstube ). We immediately began moving though there wasn’t much to transfer except for clothing and bedding and the things in the cellar .... Our parents were with us for three more days, then Jakob took them to the train station. They left as homeless exiles travelling into the big, wide world without any means of knowing where to lay their heads .... Our tranquility only lasted two weeks. One day our brother Heinrich came to us and told us we had to leave. Hans Regehr had spoken to him and told him we had to get out of Kleefeld. Officials from Halbstadt had come and asked for a Martens who was to be put on trial. Hans told them they had left but he did not know where to. It was clear that we had to leave the next day. We had no alternative but to join our parents. But what would we do after that? Everything seemed so dark. Reflection and thinking were of no avail, we had to act. We gathered a bit of food and took a change of clothes for the journey. Everything else remained behind . . . Brother Heinrich arrived with a covered wagon at 3 A.M. We left Kleefeld into the unknown. When we arrived at the Memrik station we hired a wagon which took us to Nordheim where mothers relatives lived. Our parents were in Kalinovo at mother s sister, Mrs. Dick, and so we sent them word of our arrival .... There were now five of us, all completely destitute and totally dependent on the generosity of other people .... We decided that if we could get all our furni¬ ture together it would be easier to find accomodation. I was to return to Kleefeld with Hans Baergen. If it was not possible for me to get our things I should simply return. The next day I left for Kleefeld where I secretly stayed with the Baergens for a week .... Late one evening when the street was deserted I went over to Heinrich and Neta and knocked at their window .... When they learned I was there, Peter and Jakob also came on another evening. We decided that I should try to stay in Kleefeld and send the furniture to our parents by rail. MEMOIRS OFJUSTINA MARTENS 55 This secrecy was nerve racking. I jumped at every little noise. Whenever the wind blew I thought they were at the door to arrest me. At night I sat in bed and listened an